The funny thing about driving a car, is the not so funny road rage that inevitable is part of the deal. Almost intuitively, even the most caring, nurturing and patient of people, both men and women alike, can savagely metamorphosize into the Jason Statham character from Death Race. Blaring horns, swerving vehicles and narrow escapes are, for reasons unknown to mankind, the very epitome of us mutating into an adrenaline-pumped movie character.
But case in point, driving recklessly only pays homage to the bumper sticker ‘Drive like hell, and you might get there!” And besides the irony that recklessness could prove costly, the core ideology of getting behind the wheel is to commute. But whether we travel for work, are late for meetings, on the drive back home, or even the occasional leisurely drive (when one can afford to), it most often can turn into a reel-life meets real-life scene from the Fast and the Furious franchise
Don’t get me wrong, the movie is great and the drifting turbo-charged cars are quite phenomenal, but only when practiced in safe environments. Ninety minutes of testosterone-driven action cannot, and should not, be replicated off-screen. Especially on the drive back from the cinema, when we are most susceptible to ‘inspiration’. Driving a vehicle is but the means to only get from point A to point B, and should not be juxtaposed as a night out on the streets or to fuel your insatiable need for speed.
Coming from a person who’s been there and sobered down (metaphorically speaking), here’s a few ploys I adopted when commandeering a vehicle:
Being Late
No matter how punctual we may be, or how disorganized our life is, at some point unforeseeable circumstances delay our schedules. And almost synonymously, this is when speeding tickets or lane discipline fines are most likely to barrage our savings account. From thousands of dirhams per year, to one ticket in the past 4 years I can safely recognize the drastic improvement I’ve made.
Placing a quick call, “I’m running late, I should be there in approximately 10 minutes” will definitely save you money, earns you brownie points for the courtesy and re-channels the adrenaline to productive thinking or meditating. Just slow down! (Warning: Graphic content)
You cut me off!
Unless you’re chasing a million dollars, there is no excusable excuse for cutting somebody. And being even more immature, to chase after some who just cut you off. The Godfather knew how to teach people a lesson, but even Al Pacino wouldn’t do it this way. Cutting off people is downright rude, akin to flipping the bird in extreme cases. And it only proves our lack of respect for other peoples’ property – their vehicles.
Been there, done that, the guilty has no accuser. Years later, I’ve realized that by letting one car come into my lane really does not, and will never, make a sizeable deviation from my ETA. I’d rather trade the road rage angry expressions for a show of gratitude any day. More importantly, there are two more happy people in the world now.
Seat Belts
If Lewis Hamilton can strap it, then so can you. It’s not old-school, it’s not for the weak, but rather for the wise. The cons of wearing a seat belt: a few ‘cool’ kids might think you’re a real daredevil. Period. But the pros of wearing a seat belt: Safety, less back problems since you’re forced to maintain posture, better command of the steering wheel since you’re not ‘hanging’ on to it, less fines.
I could ramble on and on, but the two seconds to strap on are but a necessity for me today, whether I am the master of the roads or a passenger at someone’s mercy. All because I want to get home safe!
Phones
Make the occasional phone call, using headphones obviously. But if your boss wants to discuss technicalities before the presentation tomorrow, or your partner wants to discuss where this relationship is going, stop at the gas station and grab a few donuts. Not like you’re having a great conversation anyways, right? And if you’ve called someone who’s driving, here’s what you should do.
It wasn’t the fines I was proud of, but rather the lack of them I proudly display today. Battle scars are something we should be proud of, tattoos perhaps, but boasting of the charitable ‘donations’ (read: fines) you’re making to the social welfare system this month; now that’s full-throttled stupidity.
And I am not stupid, anymore.
The World As I See It 